Marielle's Pretend Time

Marielle on meal time

Marielle sings happy birthday every meal time lunch, or dinner and will ask "who's birthday is this? mommy is this lunch or birthday party?" and I will say were having lunch Marielle and I will ask her what date is today? she will say it's "July 19, it's Marielle's birthday........." and everybody ( me, marc, toby) will say "No it's Nov. 8" and she'll say "no.. no it's my birthday.......... I'll say "no. it's not Marielle.......... and this will happen over and over and over until we get tired and I'll say okay Marielle you can pretend it's your birthday and she'll be happy and say "it's my pretend birthday today............" then she will start eating and I can start eating ......

 It was picnic before........ she'll say mealtime is a picnic and we'll tell her "picnic is eating outside the house.... we are inside the house and we're having dinner",she'll say  "no this is a picnic" that our kitchen floor is a grass and our ceiling is the sky, our light is the sun....  and we'll try to tell her that no this is dinner ...........and she'll say it over and over until you agree that it's Marielle's pretend picnic she'll ask me mommy is this a grass or ceramic pointing on the floor if I say it's our ceramic floor she'll scream and say "no no this is a grass we're having a picnic and I will insist it's a pretend picnic and she'll be okay about it. 

Sometimes we wish we have a quite meal but it's fun sometimes :)
We just need to get in and enjoy her ride.

How to discipline a child with Autism

Warning and Time out

Marielle is in regular Young Fives class setting with 22 other children. 

In class they have to behave appropriately or else there will be a warning three warnings then you will be  in time out!!

Teacher: Okay young fivers lets get to our learning position (sitting down cross legs hands in front and all  ears listening to the teacher)

Marielle:  in the classroom literally but her mind is somewhere else ..... where?? nobody knows.

Teacher: we have some parents who volunteer for center games today.... 

Marielle: look at the teacher and listen to what she is talking (I think she got her when she said the word games) then she lost her again.

Here is what I thought Marielle is not understanding all the words the teacher is saying or she knows some words but doesn't really understand the meaning yet .... 

(I am originally from the Philippines we move here in the U.S. six years ago English is not my first language  and  my words are limited ..... so you have to excuse me when I'm using a wrong grammar....  correction is appreciated.)

lets go back to Marielle in the class .... it's hard for her to just sit down, focus and listen to the teacher she was moving a lot and looking everywhere and rock herself a little bit (I think in Autism word they call it stimming) she didn't stand up or jump or disturb the class..... until one boy in the class make a silly noise 

Boy: oink oink (everybody laughed remember they are 5 yrs old even I laughed.)

Marielle: oink oink (giggling so hard.... turns to a laughter and getting louder)

Teacher: pssst.....we are in zero voice level now class.

Marielle: still laughing and keep saying oink oink she can't stop herself she is having too much fun.

Teacher: Marielle zero voice level now...... 

Marielle: still laughing and keep saying oink oink she is not hearing the teacher.

Teacher: Marielle zero voice level now.....

She got a warning slip that day she was getting a lot of warning slips since last week but today I saw what happened I was there in the class for a while...... I'm not angry at the teacher because she is giving her a warning and time out I understand she has a classroom rule and I respect that.
I sent her an email and told her I want to talk to her about the warning slip.

I went to the school and talk to her she said that Marielle is mimicking some boy in the class and that she can't stop herself she was having too much fun and she said she is not the one starting a noise. I ask her when she is warning her how does she tell her? because I don't think Marielle understand or the zero voice level is in her brain .... ( like pushing Michael we tell her all the time but she keeps doing it! ) she said I told her zero voice level ..... (but if she is giggling or laughing so hard she is not hearing her) then she ask me "what do you do to stop her?"........... well that is a tough question!! let's see it depends if she is in her meltdown screaming to the top of her lungs, crying, jumping up and down saying NO NO NO Mommy!! because she can't get what she wants I don't have a choice than to calm her down (hugging her tight while rocking her gently and saying okay okay calm down which she will ) then I will talk to her say "I'm sorry you cannot have it right now" and I will explain why .....
 If she is playing with Michael she like to poke him gently or give him a tickle I will tell her "Marielle that's dangerous you might hurt your brother" but she is having fun and I don't think she can hear me so I will go in front of her call her name and make her look at me and I will tell her "STOP POKING MICHAEL" then she will stop...... 5, 15 minutes later she will do it again.....

 I ask her teacher what does she do if she's in timeout? does she stay or scream? and she said Marielle does not complain if I tell her that you need to stay here until your timeout is over and she will stay and be calm wait for me to tell her timeout is over.
 We try to give her a time out here at home...she get's so excited while playing with Michael she will push him or sometimes he will take her toy and she will push him so we're trying to control her inappropriate behaviour she got a timeout for pushing Michael her Papa put her in the corner and told her to sit, be quiet for four mins. she was screaming on the top of her lungs.....and keep standing up and saying Marielle will walk and play!!!!!! she was not listening because she is having a meltdown she cannot help it!!! so I went to her and calm her down hugging her tight, rubbing her hair and rocking her gently she get to calm down I explain to her what she did is not acceptable and I put a clock in front of her 9:16 when the clock reach 9:20 you will be free and be able to play she didn't get it the first time but I told her again and she ask me to countdown with her so countdown together until she was free :)

 We all want to discipline our children but in our case autism parents we have to try harder, give more hugs and lots of love and patience, patience, and patience.
 I'll tell you a secret I love to calm her down it's my greatest accomplishment :)

Journey to Autism

 Marielle's Diagnosis

I want to share you my DD Marielle she is 5 yrs old. she was in preschool when we decided to bring her for evaluation after her teacher talk to me (I'm seeing something very different about her myself and there's a lot of question ) we went to see a child's psychologist they interview her gave her some test and observation 1st , 2nd , 3rd evaluation. They ask me so many questions as well during my pregnancy, her birth and up to the present day. I wont forget that day April 10,2013 the first time we went to P.E.T. PrePrimary Evaluation Team here in Kalamazoo it was her initial evaluation then they gave her another schedule for her next appointment and another one and another one.... May 20, 2013 we got the result actually it was only me Marc had to work. I'm with Marielle and Michael our youngest son he's 3 years old they were playing in the room with us the psychologist told me that  from their observation Marielle is showing characteristic of Autism and she gave me 15 pages of her report written on paper she said that there is no book for Marielle because all child with Autism are all different.
  Autism........ she was telling me all about it but I was thinking about  Marielle not being responsive, hand flapping, the panic attacks, not talking, saying things over and over, screaming constantly, having her own little world. My oldest son Toby is 15 yrs old now he was a late talker too so I was not really concern about Marielle being a late talker but there is so much more I'm worried about...... it's so hard to get her attention if I call her name most of the time it seems like she is not hearing me .... she don't recognize her father is not home .... I remember Toby he was about one when he started to look for his dad I mean he is not talking or not asking me where's daddy but he will say dada and he will look around Marielle is not really aware of things yet she don't call me or her Papa .... she's not aware that Papa is back she don't look at people, she don't play with dolls she did not know how to pretend play, she like to draw she is obsess with letters and numbers she started to read when she was about 2 1/2 we read every night and she reads with me but I thought maybe because she memorized the book we read ... one day  we were going in the store and she said "Sam's Club" she was looking at the store name and said "blue diamond" and I was did you just read the store sign after that she just started reading all the labels she see but she won't talk to me or answer my simple question like what do you want? I told Marc that she can read he won't believe me so he tested her he pointed to his speaker and ask Marielle can you read this? and she said "Logitech" then he show her our phone and said how about this? she said "Panasonic" and were like wow she really can read ... then he thought ....now we know she can read but won't talk or answer a question how about you right that things she wants to say if she wants to eat write in a piece of paper I'm hungry I want to eat so I did.... and it works she is reading what I know she wants to say I will ask her something I have her choice on the table she will point which one she want and I will write it down and she will read it...... we do this until we put her in preschool.

Now she is in Young Fives Elementary School. IEP meeting we were talking about school bus and my husband decided that Marielle will ride the bus I was so scared for her do I need to talk to the bus driver about her condition, what if she go down when the bus stop even if she is not suppose to, what if she got scared and scream in the bus, do I need to talk to other kids about her Autism do I need to talk to their parents? Marielle was really happy knowing that she will be a bus rider "The Wheels on the Bus" song is one of her favorite nursery rhymes just the word school bus make her jump and flap her hands, every mornings before school starts she will sing and "say school, bus Marielle will ride school bus" that she will sing the wheels on the bus with everybody I told her maybe you can sing with your small voice and if the other kids don't want to sing with you it's okay don't get upset about it, don't scream..... no screaming in the bus the bus driver might get scared and surprise and she "acted surprised and said huh!" she was like that every morning.

The first day of school I talked to the driver and said "will you  keep an eye on her.... that she has Autism.... she is High Functioning" and the driver said "do you want me to give her the first seat so she can be close to me?" and I said "yes I would appreciate it" and "thank you".